Wikipedia, and It’s Trouble with LLMs.

Wikipedia, a wonderful resource despite all the drama that comes with the accumulation of content, is having some trouble dealing with the the large language model (LLMs) AIs out there. There are two core problems – the input, and the output.

“…The current draft policy notes that anyone unfamiliar with the risks of large language models should avoid using them to create Wikipedia content, because it can open the Wikimedia Foundation up to libel suits and copyright violations—both of which the nonprofit gets protections from but the Wikipedia volunteers do not. These large language models also contain implicit biases, which often result in content skewed against marginalized and underrepresented groups of people

The community is also divided on whether large language models should be allowed to train on Wikipedia content. While open access is a cornerstone of Wikipedia’s design principles, some worry the unrestricted scraping of internet data allows AI companies like OpenAI to exploit the open web to create closed commercial datasets for their models. This is especially a problem if the Wikipedia content itself is AI-generated, creating a feedback loop of potentially biased information, if left unchecked…” 

AI Is Tearing Wikipedia Apart“, Claire Woodcock, Vice.com, May 2nd, 2023.

The Input into Wikipedia.

Inheriting the legal troubles of companies that built AI models by taking shortcuts seems like a pretty stupid thing to do, but there are companies and individuals doing it. Fortunately, the Wikimedia Foundation is a bit more responsible, and is more sensitive to biases.

Using a LLM to generate content for Wikipedia is simply a bad idea. There are some tools out there (I wrote about Perplexity.ai recently) that do the legwork for citations, but with Wikipedia, not all citations are necessarily on the Internet. Some are in books, those dusty tomes where we have passed down knowledge over the centuries, and so it takes humans to be able to not just find those citations, but assess them and assure that other citations of other perspectives are involved1.

As they mention in the article, first drafts are not a bad idea, but they’re also not a great idea. If you’re not vested enough in a topic to do the actual reading, should you really be editing a community encyclopedia? I don’t think so. Research is an important part of any accumulation of knowledge, and LLMs aren’t even good shortcuts, probably because the companies behind them took shortcuts.

The Output of Wikipedia.

I’m a little shocked that Wikipedia might not have been scraped by the companies that own LLMs, considering just how much they scraped and from whom. Wikipedia, to me, would have been one of the first things to scrape to build the learning model, as would have been Project Gutenberg. Now that they’ve had the leash yanked, maybe they’re asking for permission now, but it seems peculiar that they would not have scraped that content in the first place.

Yet, unlike companies that simply cash in on the work of volunteers, like Huffington Post, StackOverflow, and so on, Wikimedia has a higher calling – and cashing in on volunteer works would likely cause less volunteers. Any sort of volunteer does so for their own reasons, but in an organization they collectively work toward something. The Creative Commons Licensing Wikipedia has requires attribution, and LLMs don’t attribute anything. I can’t even get ChatGPT to tell me how many books it’s ‘read’.

What makes this simple is that if all the volunteer work from Wikipedia is shoved into the intake manifold of a LLM, and that LLM is subscription based, and volunteers would have to pay to use it, it’s a non-starter.

We All Like The Idea of an AI.

Generally speaking, the idea of an AI being useful for so many things is seductive, from Star Trek to Star Wars. I wouldn’t mind an Astromech droid, but where science fiction meets reality, we are stuck with the informational economy and infrastructure we have inherited over the centuries. Certainly, it needs to be adapted, but there are practical things that need to be considered outside of the bubbles that a few billionaires seem to live in.

Taking the works of volunteers and works from the public domain2 to turn around and sell them sounds Disney in nature, yet Mickey Mouse’s fingerprints on the Copyright Act have helped push back legally on the claims of copyright. Somewhere, there is a very confused mouse.

  1. Honestly, I’d love a job like that, buried in books. ↩︎
  2. Disney started off by taking public domain works and copyrighting their renditions of them, which was fine, but then they made sure no one else could do it – thus the ‘fingerprints’. ↩︎

Week One of Mastodon.

I’ve been on Mastodon a week now and thought I should write a little bit about the experience.

There’s not much to write about. It works. There are interesting people to follow, I’m confident that my data isn’t being collected, and my feed is always interesting because someone else’s algorithm isn’t controlling what I see.

It also ends up that when I wrote that when I attempted to use Mastodon it was ‘like trying to shag an unwilling octopus’, it had a lot to do with the people who landed there from my elder networks and didn’t really explain anything – leaving me wondering about which server to join, whether I needed to build my own server, etc.

It’s actually quite easy. It doesn’t really matter which server you’re on – I’m on social.mastodon – because they all connect through the Fediverse, which is to say that they are decentralized.

Relative to other social networks.

That last part is so important to me. When I was active on Facebook, I saw a very large decline over the years of quality content that I wanted to see. This was underlined by the latest discovery that Facebook is spamming users.

Twitter, or if you’re a Musk-bro, ‘X’, is much the same thing. What’s hilarious is that both of those social networks are trying to train their generative AIs and have the worst platforms because of AI and algorithms. Web 2.0 meets AI, chaos ensues.

LinkedIn deserves mention here since so many people use it, but… as far as professional networking, I don’t think it counts as much as building real connections outside of the leering eyes of Microsoft, and being asked to help write articles for them which I’m sure will be used to train their AI just so I can have a cool title. Nope, no thanks. Hit me in the wallet.

Pros and Cons.

I have yet to have a negative experience with anyone on Mastodon. In fact, when you respond to someone’s post for the first time, I get prompted to basically be courteous, and so I expect other people are as well.

I do miss being able to comment on something I retransmit – in Mastodon speak, that’s boosting. I’m not sure why that is, but I’ve found it’s not something I actually need.

The only thing that Mastodon lacks so far are connections with some family and friends who haven’t moved to Mastodon. That’s simply a factor of inertia, much like in the 1990s many people thought ‘The Internet’ was AOL, which Facebook has mimicked pretty well.

In all, I’m finding Mastodon worthwhile, and much less twitchy than the other social networks, largely because I’m not seeing crap I don’t want to see.

If I have a quiet mind to do other things and a social network is in the background, I consider that a win. Mastodon is a win.

Why I don’t link to Amazon.com.

Lately, writers have been paying attention to a few things related to artificial intelligence because the large language models are competent at rolling dice to put words together really quickly.

One of the annoyances I wrote about was that AI was being used to create summaries of books and published on Amazon.com not long after the books are actually published. The only plausible solution to it would seem to be just writing the authorized version of a summary and undercutting the people wielding AI to create summaries of your books.

There have been no articles on it other than on Wired.com, which is a little weird. Granted, the whole copyright and AI issue has been punted to the courts. At around the same time, Stephen Wolfson wrote a nicely done post on why Fair Use is good for training generative AI. The book summaries do get protected by Fair Use, which leads to another post later this week.

Yet when I was poking around, I ended up reading “Goodreads was the future of book reviews. Then Amazon bought it.” It was published on the Washington Post roughly 6 months ago, but it goes on to talk about how book reviews are abused on GoodReads. That lead me to write this post.

KnowProSE used to do Book Reviews.

I used this site in one of it’s iterations to do book reviews, and it was going ok. I hadn’t hit critical mass by any stretch, but there was room for it given other things I had done with the site. Publishers would send me books, and I would write reviews.

I’d get a free book, generally worth reading, and I could link to Amazon.com with affiliate links so I could pick up residual income (generally used to buy books for myself!). This became problematic when I changed geography because those at Amazon.com could not figure out how an account could change geography. In fact, it became such an issue I just created another account, as they suggested, but the problem then becomes dealing with all the old links.

You’d think they could handle someone moving between countries with their affiliate stuff, but it’s too hard it would seem. Given my background, that’s a pretty disappointing response from a tech company, but from a business it just falls into the, “You’re not statistically significant”, which is something I’m used to.

While all of that was happening, Amazon.com was pushing hard on their own reviews on the site, and you could not link off of Amazon.com to your own review on their site. Amazon, though, was built on affiliates, so this was a shift for them. The Amazon we all knew before it became popular was an Amazon that depended on people’s affiliate links. They got popular enough, and affiliates really didn’t matter to them anymore.

The whole Goodreads issue could have been handled by not centralizing book reviews. A bunch of independent people on their websites doing reviews was better for everyone. Sure, social networks work too, but we’ve seen how terrible social network algorithms are for getting eyeballs.

It’s a bit disappointing. I watched Amazon.com’s rise, and was happy with them when they cared beyond their profit margins. I had a beginning symbiosis with them of sorts, and it was beginning to work out. Between “it’s too hard” and “all book reviews are belong to us“, Amazon just became another business.

That it’s getting flooded with bad reviews from one of their companies and are putting out spammy book summaries isn’t the Amazon.com we started with. It’s the Amazon.com we ended up with.

That’s why when I mention books I link elsewhere. It’s not because of the money. It’s that I don’t do business with jerks unless I have to, and overall, Amazon.com has become a jerk. You’ll find some old links, I’m sure, but… too many headaches to be worried about.

Artificial Intelligence is not making Amazon.com better. It’s making it even worse.

KnowProSE.com doesn’t make any money right now. It hasn’t for some time. It isn’t a business as much as a place to write about some of the stuff I write about, and hopefully creating some value.

Writing Software Nostalgia.

It wasn’t long ago I mentioned that I had picked up Scrivener, and I’m enjoying it. It’s very much becoming a valuable tool for me as I plod away. I make my writing mistakes much more quickly now, and I can correct them much more quickly mainly because of the research capacity of the software.

I’m not easily impressed. It’s pretty cool, though not as cool as Stephen King balancing a typewriter on his knees in a trailer laundry area cool. It’s also not as cool as the picture to the left, though the trouble with that typewriter, as romantic as it is when it comes to writing, is the incessant clickety-clacking and dinging. It’s been so long since I’ve written on a typewriter that I’m unsure why anyone ever thought it was a good idea.

Clickety clickety clack clickety clickety clack ding.

That being said, I remember the first word processors on computers and it was pretty awesome, particularly because you didn’t have to use correction fluid (‘Whiteout’, as I called it) and didn’t have to worry about lining up pages just so. Generations after GenX will never truly appreciate what a quantum leap it was to be able to write an entire document and save it before printing it, allowing you all manner of editing ability after writing. Of course, when we went to write something, we had to have the idea, we had to be organized, and we had to have some physical endurance. You got strong fingers on a typewriter.

That’s why when I saw Robert J. Sawyer’s article on Wordstar, I chuckled a bit. Wordstar was a part of that shift and while Microsoft and everyone else seems to be packing more and more features into their menus, Wordstar did get it right decades ago. 4 decades ago.

40 years!

For most writers, that’s all that they really needed, as Sawyer, a Hugo and Nebula winner, well documents. Do you like George R. R. Martin’s books? You know, that Game of Thrones guy? Yup, he still uses Wordstar.

What Wordstar lacked – what it only lacked – was the document organization that I needed because my mind is sometimes not as organized as I would like it to be. I envy people who are consistently organized that way.

Yet here’s a fun thing to consider: If Wordstar got it right 40 years ago, why have people been buying software that didn’t fit what they needed? Office Suites, where you could work with spreadsheets and such. The ‘one office suite to in the darkness bind them’ marketing campaign, where it was like Oprah was handing out features. You get a feature! You get a feature! All of you get features!

The future of writing software, though, is a curious thing to consider given all these large language models out there. Everyone’s trying a new gimmick, it seems, and out of the terabytes of garbage generated, we might get something good – but it probably won’t last as long as Wordstar.

Revisiting Interactivity on WordPress.com

While I was interacting in the RealityFragments Facebook page (join in!) about the use case issue of allowing users to log in to interact with content on RealityFragments and here, it occurred to me that WordPress probably does allow for people with Google accounts to log in.

WordPress does have a plugin for allowing Google accounts to log in. It exists. So I went over to my administrative page, mentally slapping myself on the forehead about it, when I found out that even though my account is premium (paid), I would need to upgrade to a WordPress.com business account for what is now $25/month. What?

This should be the default, even for free sites on WordPress.com, because people interacting with content is how people with weblogs grow, and when they grow, they might consider the tiered pay accounts.

Instead, effectively, they’re screwing themselves over – and their users – to try to force people to pay more when their monetization plans are at best… blech, particularly if you live outside of the geographic areas Stripe supports.

Just one plugin would cause more interactivity on sites. It should be a default. How annoying is that?

Now I have to go compare options before I renew my sites on WordPress.com, which has been otherwise trouble free but annoyingly myopic regarding monetization and usability for the users of their users. The readers.

Or maybe they will read this, have an Eureka moment, and change the way that they do things.

For now, please use the RealityFragments Facebook page to interact with content here, to stop in and say hi, and to meet others who are doing the same.

Revisiting Design: The RealityFragments Like/Comment Use Case

Yesterday, I went on a bit of a spree on RealityFragments.com, with the results fairly summarized on the RealityFragments About Page. The reason for the spree was pretty simple.

There are some issues with design.

Some of it is implicit in WordPress.com. To ‘like’ or ‘comment’ on content, you require a WordPress.com account. It’s painful for non-WordPress.com users to do that when they’re used to logging into everything automagically – and it’s also necessary to avoid spam comments that link to websites that sell everything from ‘getting rich quick’ schemes to promises of increasing the prominence of one’s nether regions. It’s a hard balance.

And it’s kinda crappy design because we, collectively, haven’t figured out a better way to handle spammers. I could get into the failures of nations to work together on this, but if we go down that path we will be in the weeds for a very, very long time.

Suffice to say my concern is that of the readers. The users. And it brought to mind that yellow book by Donald A. Norman, the very color of the book being an example of good design. After all, that’s how I remember it.

“Design is really an act of communication, which means having a deep understanding of the person with whom the designer is communicating.”

Donald A. Norman, The Design of Everyday Things (2013)

This is where we who have spent time in the code caves get things wrong. Software Engineers are generally rational beings who expect everyone to be rational, and if we just got rid of irrational users “we would have a lot less problems!”.

I’ve spent about half a century on the planet at this point, and I will make a statement: By default, humans are irrational, and even those of us who consider ourselves rational are irrational in ways we… rationalize. Sooner or later, everyone comes to terms with this or dies very, very frustrated.

The problem I had is that I wasn’t getting feedback. The users can’t give it without giving WordPress.com the emotional equivalent of their first born child, apparently. Things have gotten faster and we want things more now-er. We all do. We want that instant gratification.

In the context of leaving a comment, if there are too many bells and whistles associated with doing it, the person forgets what they were going to comment about in the first place.

“The idea that a person is at fault when something goes wrong is deeply entrenched in society. That’s why we blame others and even ourselves… More and more often the blame is attributed to “human error.” The person involved can be fined, punished, or fired. Maybe training procedures are revised… But in my experience, human error usually is a result of poor design: it should be called system error. Humans err continually; it is an intrinsic part of our nature…. Worse, blaming the person without fixing the root, underlying cause does not fix the problem: the same error is likely to be repeated by someone else.”

Donald A. Norman, The Design of Everyday Things (2013)

The thing is – there is no good solution for this. None, whatsoever, mainly because the alternative that was already there had not occurred to the users. It’s posted on Facebook, on the RealityFragments page, where I mix content from here and RealityFragments. The posts can be easily interacted with on Facebook for those who use Facebook. Sure, it doesn’t show on the website, but that doesn’t matter as much to me as the interaction itself?

Factor in that it’s easy for my posts to get buried by Facebook algorithms, it becomes an issue as well.

Thus, I created the RealityFragments Group on Facebook. People join, they can wander into the group and discuss stuff asynchronously, instead of the doom scroll of content people are subjected to. My intention is for my content not to compete for attention in that way, because it simply can’t.

I don’t have images of models trying on ideas. I don’t have loads of kitten pictures, and I’m certainly not getting dressed up and do duck lips to try to convince people to read and interact with what I create. I am also, for the record, not willing to wear a bikini. You’re welcome.

This was less than ideal solution to the problem. Maybe.

Time will tell if I got it right, but many more technically minded people will say, “You could just manage your own content management system on a rented server.” This is absolutely true.

What’s also true is that I would then be on the hook for everything, and when a content management system needs love, it wants it now. Thus when I’m ready to start writing, I suddenly have to deal with administration issues and before you know it, I’ve forgotten what I wanted to write – just like the users that have to create an account on WordPress.com to comment or like. A mirror.

So this is a compromised solution. Maybe. Time will tell.

And if you want to interact with this post and can’t log in to WordPress, feel free to join the RealityFragments.com Facebook group. Despite it’s name, it’s also for KnowProSE.com

Is Output of ChatGPT Text a Derived Work?

artificial-intelligence-42c97bOne of the things that has bothered me most about ChatGPT is that it’s data was scraped from the Internet, where a fair amount of writing I have done resides. It would be hubris to think that what I wrote is so awesome that it could be ‘stealing’ from me, but it would also be idiotic to think that content ChatGPT produces isn’t derivative in a legal sense. In a world almost critically defined by self-preservation, I think we all should know where the line is. We don’t, really, but we should.

I’m no lawyer, but I’ve had my own ‘fun’ with copyright.

In fact, New Tech Observations from the UK (ntouk) seems to have caught ChatGPT lifting the plot of Alice in Wonderland without any attribution.  There are legal issues here that seem to have been ignored in most of the hype, where even reusing content from ChatGPT could be seen as contributing to the infringement.
That hasn’t really stopped anyone since most people don’t seem to take copyright seriously unless they work for an organization that takes copyright seriously, and even when they do take copyright seriously, it’s only within specific contexts. This is why I point out where I have used a large language model such as ChatGPT for anything, since I’m citing it citing nobody – and even then, I don’t use it for generating content other than some interesting images.

Entities with deep pockets are protected by their deep pockets, but the average person writing on the Internet has less deep pockets – and there are more of us. I’ve had content ‘borrowed’ without attribution. It can range from mildly amusing to outrage, particularly when some schmuck just borrowed to create a popular post without citation so that they could ‘produce’ content that they didn’t actually produce. And Copyright is implicit.

Privacy is a partner to Copyright as well. I’m wondering when the question will be raised about text scraped for these training models by some publishers that deal mainly with text rather than images – because the image lawsuits are happening.

For now, I suppose, don’t put anything online that you wouldn’t want anyone regurgitating without attribution.

The Societal Mirror.

web_humanity in ai_individualThe article, “Introducing the AI Mirror Test, which very smart people keep failing“, hits some pretty good points on these large language models that we are lazily calling Artificial Intelligence. One of my favorites is this:

…What is important to remember is that chatbots are autocomplete tools. They’re systems trained on huge datasets of human text scraped from the web: on personal blogs, sci-fi short stories, forum discussions, movie reviews, social media diatribes, forgotten poems, antiquated textbooks, endless song lyrics, manifestos, journals, and more besides. These machines analyze this inventive, entertaining, motley aggregate and then try to recreate it. They are undeniably good at it and getting better, but mimicking speech does not make a computer sentient…

As I pointed out in a post on ChatGPT and large language models, such as ‘A Chat With GPT on AI‘, I recognized that it was meeting my cognitive bias. In that regard, I recognized some of myself in what I was getting back, not too different from when I was playing with Eliza in the 1980s with the only difference being that the bot has gotten better because it has access to more information than what the user types in. We were young, we dreamed, but tech wasn’t ready yet.
web_humanity in ai_group
Of course it’s a mirror of what ourselves in that regard – but the author didn’t take it to the next step. As individuals we should be seeing ourselves in the output, but we should also understand that it’s also global society’s mirror as well, and all the relative good and relative bad that comes with it. We have biases in content based on language, on culture, on religion, and on much more. I imagine the Amish don’t care, but still they are part of humanity and we have a blind spot there, I’m certain, never-mind all the history that our society has erased and continues to erase, or has simply ignored.

Personally, I find it a great way to poll the known stores of humanity on what it’s biases believe, no matter how disturbing the results can be. And yet, we’re already likely diluting our own thoughts reflected back at us as marketers and bloggers (not mutually exclusive) churn content out of Large Language Models that they will eventually train on. That’s not something I’m comfortable with, and as usual, my problem isn’t so much technology as society, a rare thing for me to say when so much technology is poorly designed. Am I ‘victim shaming’?

When the victim is the one abusing themself, can it be victim shaming?

Our own echo chambers are rather shameless.

Pandemics, Trinidad and Tobago, Oh My

I’ve been looking for angles on how to write about this latest lockdown in Trinidad and Tobago. I considered writing something for TechNewsTT.com about the technology aspects, but the article always fell short in my mind and seemed to dance just a bit beyond a technology aspect. Then, too, writing anything critical in Trinidad and Tobago is like threading needles – plural – while riding a rollercoaster because of politics, because of what I perceive as a culture that demands progress but does it’s best to work against it with cultural inertia… And so there has been a bit of paralysis in my mind as this all plods along. 

And plod along it does. Social media has been drowning in disaster porn. The government of Trinidad and Tobago adds it’s deluge onto that with daily statistics that are confusing to those that don’t understand how they are created, and frustrating those that do. Imagine that the testing laboratory is closed on weekends, and always lags on Mondays, and how that skews statistics – but then, too, imagine so many being tested that to require staff to work weekends would be a bridge too far. It is fair to say that the Ministry of Health has been overwhelmed and performed well given the circumstances, but it is also fair to say that the fact that the Ministry of Health has been overwhelmed speaks to decades of stagnation in many regards. Health records immediately come to mind in a country that has de facto free medical care, to a point, and at some points pointless.

So then we get into threading one of the needles where we don’t criticize the people in the system but the system themselves, much like National Security in how it has had to deal with the State of Emergency which has not been invasive, to the chagrin of some who think that everyone who breaks the rules should be tossed in a cell somewhere – as if tossing them in cells doesn’t create new problems in a pandemic. Where do you house them? How do you feed them and handle basic necessities for them? It’s not so easy.

Meanwhile, the hunt for vaccines became a political stew and an international one at that, while all the time the local politicians hold press conferences on each other rather than the actual issues because, really, what do you do when decades of lack of progress in so many regards comes to a head in such a situation? While the pandemic is a new experience and has wreaked it’s own sort of havoc across the world, that havoc was largely made possible by failures in systems that were perceived as robust to the voting publics. In this regard, Trinidad and Tobago is not that different, but anyone familiar with modern history of Trinidad and Tobago will look back to the 1960s and 1970s and think of all the money just wasted and stolen rather than invested, with every government since working with less and less while the challenges become greater and greater.

So how does one even begin to write about this properly? Facts and figures aren’t enough because there is context, and there are so many contexts. Economic, education, medical, national security… How does one write about all of this without blessing or condemning anyone in government? While it’s popular to apply faces to blame, it’s almost never right – the odds of complete incompetence of any individual in any bureaucracy is limited by the bureaucracy, but it is also magnified by the bureaucracy.

I have spent months observing and reflecting on it and I have yet to find the right threads to begin tugging on when it comes to this tattered rug that has not been dealt with since the time of my grandparents, when it should have been, when it could have been.

But I have this parting note. Recently, I noted to some former classmates that when we graduated Secondary School, regardless of where our paths would take us, we lead with this thought that we could somehow make a difference… and some of us have, probably more than think they have, but when I look at the world and consider someone now that age looking at this tattered rug… somehow, it just doesn’t seem to measure up.

If Not Labeled Obscenely…

cof
It probably helps if your items are fuzzy when they pass through Customs and Excise, Trinidad and Tobago, to pass for not being indecent or obscene.

Not long ago, Trinidad and Tobago was dealing with a strange situation – whether ‘sex toys’ were illegal to import. There were first stories saying that sex toys were banned, and I noted this as peculiar and took the media to task on it for doing less research than I did in less than an hour.

Then, there was a rebuttal by Trinidad and Tobago Finance Minister Colm Imbert saying all of this was fake news – though I wonder if this was all a setup to get  a Minister to discuss sex toys.

The question, though, was what was considered indecent and obscene – or not. Lyndon Baptiste (RedWallNews) expressed this clearly in one of his videos.  2 months in prison for being a ‘rogue’ or ‘vagabond’? 

It’s a lot like the Law in Trinidad and Tobago that leaves whether automobile tinting is too dark and thus illegal – it’s at the discretion of someone in positional authority.

Positional. Sex Toy. Umm.

If only someone with journalistic integrity and maturity would delve deeper into this issue for the ladies – and I suppose at least some men.

For lack of anyone with these attributes, I decided to do it myself.

Before I left for Tobago, I went on Amazon.com and searched for what might be considered an ‘adult toy’ for women – men tend to take things in hand – and was amazed at the wide…. array… of things available to women. My. Word. Ladies, I had an idea, but my word, are you catered for.

Since I’m presently not in a relationship and have no idea what a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ one might be, I opted for something that might be less likely to be fingered by Customs and Excise. After all, though I was making sure I had a vacation in between, I wasn’t too interested in being called a ‘rogue’ or ‘vagabond’ over this, and I certainly didn’t want to spend 2 months among hardened criminals:

“What are you in for?”
“Customs…”
“Smuggling?”
“You could say that…”

So I did a search related to internal massage. Given the number of orifices on the average human – are you counting right now? – I thought that might be more likely to pass the test versus, “BIG LIFELIKE —– VIBRATING D–D- WITH MOUNTING SUCTION CUP”.

I ordered it. While it spent it’s time in a box being shipped, I considered the possibilities. Should I do a faux interview with it about Customs and Excise should it make it through? I decided it should have a stutter, but since it was made in China I wasn’t sure how to do the voice. It took a while, but it got here . When I spoke with the young female clerk when I picked it up, she confirmed my suspicions.

It’s really about what you call it.

What’s more, it seems that they threw in a ‘finger massager’ as well. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

So ladies – and I suppose some men, too – just be careful with what it’s called. ‘Discrete’ shipping is typical with such items, I saw, but what they call it might mean the difference between pleasure and pain.

Items for this research have already been donated to a suitable… charity.