Not long ago, Trinidad and Tobago was dealing with a strange situation – whether ‘sex toys’ were illegal to import. There were first stories saying that sex toys were banned, and I noted this as peculiar and took the media to task on it for doing less research than I did in less than an hour.

Then, there was a rebuttal by Trinidad and Tobago Finance Minister Colm Imbert saying all of this was fake news – though I wonder if this was all a setup to get  a Minister to discuss sex toys.

The question, though, was what was considered indecent and obscene – or not. Lyndon Baptiste (RedWallNews) expressed this clearly in one of his videos.  2 months in prison for being a ‘rogue’ or ‘vagabond’? 

It’s a lot like the Law in Trinidad and Tobago that leaves whether automobile tinting is too dark and thus illegal – it’s at the discretion of someone in positional authority.

Positional. Sex Toy. Umm.

If only someone with journalistic integrity and maturity would delve deeper into this issue for the ladies – and I suppose at least some men.

For lack of anyone with these attributes, I decided to do it myself.

Before I left for Tobago, I went on Amazon.com and searched for what might be considered an ‘adult toy’ for women – men tend to take things in hand – and was amazed at the wide…. array… of things available to women. My. Word. Ladies, I had an idea, but my word, are you catered for.

Since I’m presently not in a relationship and have no idea what a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ one might be, I opted for something that might be less likely to be fingered by Customs and Excise. After all, though I was making sure I had a vacation in between, I wasn’t too interested in being called a ‘rogue’ or ‘vagabond’ over this, and I certainly didn’t want to spend 2 months among hardened criminals:

“What are you in for?”
“Customs…”
“Smuggling?”
“You could say that…”

So I did a search related to internal massage. Given the number of orifices on the average human – are you counting right now? – I thought that might be more likely to pass the test versus, “BIG LIFELIKE —– VIBRATING D–D- WITH MOUNTING SUCTION CUP”.

I ordered it. While it spent it’s time in a box being shipped, I considered the possibilities. Should I do a faux interview with it about Customs and Excise should it make it through? I decided it should have a stutter, but since it was made in China I wasn’t sure how to do the voice. It took a while, but it got here . When I spoke with the young female clerk when I picked it up, she confirmed my suspicions.

It’s really about what you call it.

What’s more, it seems that they threw in a ‘finger massager’ as well. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

So ladies – and I suppose some men, too – just be careful with what it’s called. ‘Discrete’ shipping is typical with such items, I saw, but what they call it might mean the difference between pleasure and pain.

Items for this research have already been donated to a suitable… charity.